


500 Word Satire

by Starwolf21



Category: No Fandom
Genre: F/M, Gen, Mentions of Actual Events, Mentions of Catphishing, Online Catphishing, Online Predator, Satire, School Project, false identities, high school project
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-08-24 14:40:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16642130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starwolf21/pseuds/Starwolf21
Summary: Yay, first post! Okay, that out of the way, time to get into the summary..Satire - the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.This, my dear reader, is satire. If you want to know what it's about, look at the tags. If you don't want spoilers on what it's about, then don't look at the tags. ;)Have fun with this piece of trash.





	500 Word Satire

O, Brave New World . . .

The routine is always the same. It always has been, and always will be, as far as I’m concerned. It’s easy, too. The steps to do it, always effortless. Always with ease. But the way a person pulls off the execution is key. One can’t just have all the buildup for something, and then fall flat. Having a perfectly executed attack is key. It separates the women from the girls.

Which, of course, was me. I am one of those few women who have the guts to go all out and execute the plan.

Smiling, I ready myself for The Big Finale. Getting my container of Déftero Dérmaeasily, I lather it deep into the wrinkles and pockets of my skin, making sure to fill and stretch all the folds. This beautiful cream helps make my 60-year-old appearance look vigorous and sweet, like a woman in her early 30’s. While doing this gave me a youthful look, the smell of bleach, hydrogen peroxide, and god knows what else that came it was not exactly one to be desired. With that thought in mind, I grab my female hormone spray and drizzle my entire body with it. This stuff is scientifically proven to make the female body more like an object, more “appealing to the male eye” as said on the bottle.

Speaking of quotes! I need to check my Tindur account and see how my prey is feeling today. I have to make sure he is feeling his best all the time, and make sure to drop hints to ensure he is mine and mine only. He needs to feel safe, but slightly uneasy, to keep him into me. Man, sometimes I wish this process wasn’t so hard.

I scrunch my nose up and shake my head. “Bad!”, I think to myself. I don’t want to go back to when a lie could be easily seen through with enough digging. When a false identity could be taken down brick by brick. You see, we have it easy, us online stalkers. Well, most of us, I think as I pull and pluck at what remains of my eyebrows. It is truly a marvel how we could so easily disguise ourselves as someone else. It’s amazing, and I always stand in awe and idolize the people who could so easily get away with slipping into a second skin. 

Take, for example Lennay Kekua. She was a wonderous woman who got a college football player to fall in love with her. After a while, she faked her death and got millions to mourn her false identity. It’s was simply amazing. Beautifully executed. I don’t know how I’ll ever get to her level of perfection. But now is not the time to sit and think about internet stars. It’s time to leave my flat and go out into the world.

I look forwards, as I always have, to striking my prey. The whole thrill of this online dating thing is that he would have never guessed that I was an old woman, aging with the well covered up scent of cigarettes and van awaiting his warm presence. He would have never suspected that I was lying, because how could he? The internet never lies. 

Oh, how I love my little routine.


End file.
